Fear Not, My Brave Cohorts!!!

So, I was hanging out with my cousin Queenie last week.  She took the awesome pic of me that you see to your right.  (pausing for you to look and say "ooohhh, ahhhh".)

Anyway, Queenie has always been one of my staunchest blog supporters.  This is why I paused for a microsecond when she said, "Your new blog sucks."  She didn't use those exact words, she said something about "lack of focus," but that's what she meant.  And I have to agree.  My new blog is without focus.  I figured when I started it, I'd write about relationships - mine especially - until I found out that Thor doesn't like to have every single aspect of our life together splattered on the Internet.  Who knew.  So I spend 85% of my time censoring what I write, and 15% of my time actually putting something together for you.

As a result of my life-defining moment with Queenie, I'm throwing a little project out for you.  We, my little chickens, will be FACING OUR FEARS.  After all, how can you have a successful relationship if you are feeling fearful all the time?  How can you truly open up to another person if you are terrified of how they will perceive you?  How, I ask!  HOW!  Are we men, or are we mice?  Do we face our fears head-on, tossing our heads back and laughing in their dark little faces, or do we run away and hide at the nearest Krispy Kreme?

(the answer is the first one.)

With the help of Thor, I've devised this little list of things we are going to do over the coming months.  If you were following my last blog, you may recognize a few from my "list of 100 things I will do in 2013."  You, my dearest reader, get to EXPERIENCE these things with me.  Perhaps you will be inspired to face a few fears of your own.

The List

 

1.    Touch a snake.  I am terrified of snakes.  Snakes in the wild.  Snakes on the road.  Snakes in glass aquariums at the pet store.  Pictures of snakes.  The word "snake."  I have never, ever touched one.  Ever.  

2.    Drink a straight shot of vodka.  I've never taken a straight shot of anything in my life, because I assume it all tastes like Nyquil, and the one and only time I tried to take Nyquil, I puked.  So I'm a little worried that it won't stay down.

3.    Go indoor rock climbing.  Per my last post, I'm terrified of heights.  Even with ropes and safety harnesses.  Gawd help the poor person in charge of my safety.  I'm actually hoping that, if I can pull this one off, my fear will subside a little.  Hoping. 

4.    Write a poem.  I love to write, but poetry has never been my thing.  The last poem I wrote that received any accolade at all was when I was 7.  I wrote a poem for my parents, which they typed up on a manual typewriter and decoupaged onto a board and hung on the wall.  Hey, it was the 70's.  It's possible that I can't write a poem, period.  And let's not even get started with haiku.

5.   Go to charm school.  Okay, this one actually sounds fun, and it probably will be.  I picked this because I can't wear white.  Why can't I wear white, you ask?  Let me tell you.  I can't wear white because within 14 seconds of the start of any meal, I'm wearing part of it.  If I were to learn proper table manners, instead of the "shovel" method of eating, maybe that would stop.  Also, Thor always uses his table knife when he eats, like a little food pusher.  It's the cutest thing ever.  I want to do that, too.

6.     Improve my penmanship.  I do have the excuse that I'm left-handed, but my handwriting is steadily declining.  It's to the point where I can't read my own jotted notes anymore.   So I'm going back to the 5th grade and re-taking penmanship.  I know this isn't much of a "fear", more of a "avoidance of humiliation when people look at my handwriting" thing.  But it's close enough.

7.     Complete Jillian Michaels’ “Ripped in 30” video, complete with diet plan.  I love me some Jillian Michaels, but I have to be honest with you, she pretty much scares the shit out of me.  And the whole "getting up in the morning to exercise" thing - ugh.  But I'm going to spend 30 days with Jillian.  If she can't cure any lingering fears I may have, well, nobody can.

 8.    Ride a zipline.  As part of my fear of heights, I have a serious fear of falling.  Do not stand me on a ledge of any sort, of any height off the ground.  I'm terrified I'll fall and die.  It doesn't even have to be high off the ground.  So for me to voluntarily leave any type of platform and fly through the air....inconceivable.  As with the whole rock-climbing thing, I'm hopeful that addressing this fear will help alleviate it.

There you have it, dearest reader.  I don't have an agenda, a specific order, or anything else, for that matter.  But I do have Thor to keep me in line.  The stuff I will be tempted to blow off, he will hold me accountable for.  Gawd, sometimes dating a guy  who has the whole "honor and integrity" thing going on really sucks.  Oh, and I almost forgot - my secret weapon, Jen Jen.  Jen Jen works with me, and when she thinks about it, reads my blog.  Jen Jen is the Queen of Accountability.  She will razz me into the ground over this.  Jen Jen - you have my permission to do so.

Your turn, reader.  What's on your list?